Something Fishy

I had a customer by the surname of Tench phoning me today. I thought there was something fishy about the call. He didn’t clown around. He got straight to the sword point.

‘I’m after the gold at the end of the rainbow,’ he told me.

‘Stop carping about,’ I replied, ‘I ray have to put you in your plaice. You are about to skate on thin ice.’

‘This is not a red herring.’ He sprat. ‘I’m trying to make a cardinal effort to tell you about the sharks of this industry.’

I thought he’d got off to a flying start, but then he beached. I could picture him going as red as a salmon. I waited for him to gather his wits and thought I would have to go to the spout for a drop of water. As I glanced over to that area I noticed shoals of activity. Reminded me of a tin of sardines. Haddock! I realised I would have to wait.

The customer continued, climbing on to his perch. I thought he was as slippery as an eel. I couldn’t trout what he was saying. It was like sand running through my fingers. I realised he was trying to whale me in, so I let him know that his barbs weren’t stinging and his harpoons were far off the mark.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘let me stream line the current. There’s no point in lying around like a jelly fish. I won’t flounder. Cod you refund my money? I know the tide changes but this increase is extortionate. Do you think I’m Marlin? I can’t afford this. You’re a bunch of piranahs!’

‘We prefer Baracuda.’ I put him straight, reeling him in. I’ve never been known as a shrimp. I like to spear the victim on my pike. He tried to angle in another direction but I cut him off. It was like playing a tuna on double bass. ‘You can’t have a refund.’ I couldn’t help but bream. ‘I know it’s a cobbler. There’s no point in getting crabby. Elver, you moray lodge a complaint if you wish.’

‘Grouper.’ He replied, although it sounded more like a grunt. ‘I tetra I’m not the sole complainant. You’re a mudsucker!’

I cut the line.


Published by Mandee

I'm an EFT practitioner, Matrix Reimprinter, Colour Therapist, Reiki Healer, Tarot Reader, And Astrologer. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) was pioneered by Gary Craig, tapping on acupressure points to help a person heal themselves. It proved to be extremely effective and has been taken up by many people worldwide. The therapy was taken further by Karl Dawson who found it very effective to enable the client to access memories, many hidden, sometimes pre-birth. By accessing the memory in the matrix the client is able to identify the root of problem areas, and with the help of the practitioner address the initial cause of trauma, phobias, addictions, pain, etc. I also use colour therapy and reiki as separate therapies, but they also work well together. It's no coincidence that nurses wear blue - blue is a very calming and relaxing colour. Just the thing you need when recovering. Too much blue, however, can lead to withdrawal and in some cases depression. We've all heard the term: 'I'm having a blue day'. This is just one colour example. Reiki is a very relaxing complementary healing technique that originated in the East. It is used worldwide as an effective therapy. The practitioner allows universal energy to flow through them into the client, to help the client recover. The therapies mentioned above are complementary. In orders words they can be used alongside modern medical practices. I do not diagnose or prescribe. Diagnosis and medication is dealt with by your GP or hospital consultant. I've been reading the tarot and runes for over 30 years both in the UK and internationally. I'm also a member of the Astrological Association of Great Britain after studying astrology through the Mayo School of Astrology. I offer Natal Charts, Reports, and Readings. Please note: Tarot and astrology is for guidance only. The reading or report will not make decisions for you and should not be used as a substitute for professional advice.

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