We have another incentive day tomorrow. They told us on Monday – this week. We have to dress up as superheroes and the best dressed team gets £500 to spend on a team night out.
Great! We all have superhero customs in our wardrobes. It is a staple item of any household, and a must-have for the normal working person. You wouldn’t dream of being without this item. Course not.
If for any reason you don’t possess this versatile, fashionable commodity, then here’s what to do when pushed for time.
1) Take a pair of tights – not stockings – any colour will do. If you’re a bloke then borrow from your wife/girlfriend/mother/friend. Men – you may wish to wear some kind of cap for protection under the tights. It also helps prevent chaffing
2) Next get a pair of big pants – the big spandex are perfect. And remember – all superheroes wear pants of a different colour to their tights. Again if you’re a bloke borrow from the women in your life. These should be worn over the top of the tights.
3) A tight fighting t-shirt of the same colour as the tights is needed. This shows off the superhero muscles. Basically a t-shirt that is two sizes too small is perfect.
4) Gloves. The longer the better. Preferably not wool. Wool is not cool.
5) Boots. Any length, but the longer the better if you’re a female.
6) Eye mask. One you wear for bed is fine, or the gel beauty ones. This adds to the allure and mystery of the superhero.
7) Every good superhero has a cloak. A sheet wrapped around your neck – not too tight, you don’t want to strangle yourself. It should be a least a foot off the floor and flying freely behind you as duck and dive the baddies.
8) Accessories. These can be a mixture or multitude of tight arm bracelets, studs, whips, handcuffs, earrings, belts. Basically anything that could have a sexual innuendo – superheroes are sexy.
9) Flashy supped-up sports car, that can also fly, travel into outer space, dive into the deepest depths of the darkest oceans, transform into a fighting robot, and sort out all your problems for you. Borrow it if you don’t already have it.
Now you’re all set to take on local crime cartel.