Tips for customers phoning the call centre Part 2

My dear customers, I trust that you found part 1 extremely useful. I would now like to update you with part 2. Please print it off and attach it to part 1 on your fridge. I’m sure you realise how important these points are, and wonder how you ever managed without them.

This is part of the Data Protection laws of this country. If you are not the policy holder do not ask questions about the policy. You are breaking the law. You are asking me or my colleagues to break the law. If you wish to commit a criminal offence please do it on your own time. Not ours. If one of your relatives has just bought a property and wants to know about previous insurance, then ask the previous owners. Do not call us. We won’t tell you. I completely agree that it would be far better if we could share every bit of information we have. It would make life so much easier for all of us. Nothing hidden. No secrets. In this regard you won’t mind if I pass your details on to crimewatch, police force, scotland yard, MI5, interpol, etc.

At my call centre we are all professional people. The letters after my name are for religious studies. No, dear customer, you don’t need to send me any of your religious pamphlets, books, etc. This qualification helps me with cultures, the way people live, and conversing with people of diversity (not the dance group). Some of my colleagues are lawyers. Yes, dear customer. They can sue you if you’re mean to them. Some of them are accountants. Some of them are vets. Yes, we do have the occasional animal phoning us. The point is, it may be a good idea to be nice to us.

With regards to the recent advert please see the above point 10. Especially the part about the lawyers.

If you want to take out a policy, have a query on an existing policy, or need to make a claim, it would be extremely beneficial if you have your address. Just the house number will not tell us who or where you are. Got it? If you’ve forgotten where you live, ask a family member. Before you phone us.

The policies may be on special offer when you first purchase one, but they are not free because you may be on benefits or pension. If you are on benefits/pension and can’t afford a policy then get a job, or go find a charity.

It’s nice to know that some people can take out a policy in 1997 and pay monthly, and then forget they have it. You obviously have so much spare cash that you don’t need to check where it’s going. In this regard please contact me. I will supply my bank details. You can set up a direct debit to pay me. £1000 per month should do it. Thanks. Also, I’ll supply bank details for my daughter, my parents, my aunt and uncle, my friend, my other friend, my cousin, my other cousin. They’ll all settle for £100 per week. Thanks. I’ll also supply a list of the prospective customers who are on benefits/pension who can’t afford one of our policies. They’ll settle for £50 a week. You’re very kind.

Please keep a look out for further helpful updates. I’ve been advised that this list is extrememly useful, and people are wondering why no one has been this helpful previously. Well, now you have this most important document please keep it somewhere safe.


Published by Mandee

I'm an EFT practitioner, Matrix Reimprinter, Colour Therapist, Reiki Healer, Tarot Reader, And Astrologer. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) was pioneered by Gary Craig, tapping on acupressure points to help a person heal themselves. It proved to be extremely effective and has been taken up by many people worldwide. The therapy was taken further by Karl Dawson who found it very effective to enable the client to access memories, many hidden, sometimes pre-birth. By accessing the memory in the matrix the client is able to identify the root of problem areas, and with the help of the practitioner address the initial cause of trauma, phobias, addictions, pain, etc. I also use colour therapy and reiki as separate therapies, but they also work well together. It's no coincidence that nurses wear blue - blue is a very calming and relaxing colour. Just the thing you need when recovering. Too much blue, however, can lead to withdrawal and in some cases depression. We've all heard the term: 'I'm having a blue day'. This is just one colour example. Reiki is a very relaxing complementary healing technique that originated in the East. It is used worldwide as an effective therapy. The practitioner allows universal energy to flow through them into the client, to help the client recover. The therapies mentioned above are complementary. In orders words they can be used alongside modern medical practices. I do not diagnose or prescribe. Diagnosis and medication is dealt with by your GP or hospital consultant. I've been reading the tarot and runes for over 30 years both in the UK and internationally. I'm also a member of the Astrological Association of Great Britain after studying astrology through the Mayo School of Astrology. I offer Natal Charts, Reports, and Readings. Please note: Tarot and astrology is for guidance only. The reading or report will not make decisions for you and should not be used as a substitute for professional advice.

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